Dear Girls Wearing Shorts with Your Butts, Literally, Hanging Out

Dear Girls Wearing Shorts with Your Butts, Literally, Hanging Out,


        Why? Why do you wear these micro shorts? I'm going to admit, I don't understand why anyone would want to wear them. And, I'm really not trying to be mean or ugly. I'm not talking about the shorts that come down to your finger tips when you stand up. I'm not talking about the ones that are a little above your mid-thigh. I'm talking about the shorts that are so short, they almost look like a swimsuit bottom. The shorts where you can see the crease of the butt and the bottom part of the butt cheek hanging out. They look extremely uncomfortable. It looks like you would have a constant crack attack. Now, most young girls have these cute little bodies, but why is it okay for us to see their butts hanging out? I do own a pair of blue jean shorts and several pairs of workout shorts, but you cannot see my rear hanging out, and I make sure you can see my shorts when I pick out the shirt I'm wearing. There's a way to look hot and classy at the same time. I love fashion and will be happy to be a consultant :)

A few months ago, I went shopping for my two girls, ages 9 and 11. When I was looking around, I swear I had walked into "Hookers 'R Us". The shorts and dresses were unbelievably short. It was crazy. And on top of that, they were more expensive than the longer shorts I found at another store. We only found a few t-shirts and few pairs of jeans because I cannot bring myself to buy these kinds of clothes for my kids. My husband also told me that he would give me $1000 for clothes to make sure our girls didn't dress like that. Annnnnddd, he would choke me if I came in the house with these clothes for them. Here is a pair of shorts for an 8 year old girl...

You tell me that it's okay to send my 9 year old daughter out into public wearing these.

So, to these short short wearing people, I have some questions for you, and I'm being totally serious:

1.  Is your butt hot natured? I'm serious! Do you stay hot if you cover the whole butt cheek up? Does it need a breeze to stay cool?


2. Does your butt need to breathe, so it can't be covered up? Does your butt feel like it's smothering? If you cover it up, will it shrivel up and go away because it dies from lack of air? Is that what you're afraid of? That your butt will disappear if you cover it up?


3. Do you think that this attracts guys? I mean, I'm sure it will attract guys, but are they attracted to you for the right reasons, or are they attracted to you because they can already see everything you've got? You are beautiful inside and out! Don't let someone judge you from the way your butt hangs out of your shorts.


4. I agree that these shorts may be okay to wear down to the beach or to the lake, but why do you want to wear them to the mall or even the grocery store? Or back to school night? Yes, I sure did see several pairs at a MIDDLE SCHOOL back to school night.

God tells us in Corinthians 6:19-20, "Do you know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom  you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies." Be careful what you show to others. Guard yourself and guard your heart. You belong to God, and He wants us to be a reflection of Him.

That Love-Hate Relationship with Walmart

Why can't I stay away from this place? It's like a bad boyfriend that you know you shouldn't hang out with, but you keep going back. It's not like we don't have comparable stores here in town, but I can't NOT go there. It's like a moth to a flame. Is it the good prices? The well stocked shelves, especially of Krispy Kreme Smooth coffee? The fact that you can get a cup of popcorn chicken at the deli, when you're starving after work, and walk around and eat it while you shop? Is it the perfectly priced clothes for kids who grow out of them in what feels like 2 days? Or maybe it's because you can grocery shop and shop for clothes in the same store?

Now, shopping at Walmart has its good points, but I have some suggestions that may help to make the shopping experience A LOT better, especially for parents. Because I'm going to tell you, right now, it's complete torture to go in there with my kids.


Here are my suggestions, and they are only suggestions, but I think they are pretty dadgum good ones:

1. For the love of dixie, open up more registers!!! If you aren't going to open all or at least half of them during your busiest hours, then don't build as many registers. It's a waste of money, and it's frustrating to look around and see that 40 registers exist, yet only 3-5 are open at any given time. This is the time that our kids really start pitching fits, especially since you keep saying no to the 100 pieces of candy and toys that they've picked up while waiting in line. They are getting antsy waiting in a line that is 8 people deep, all with buggies FULL of groceries. So, the frustration level was just taken to the next level. Also, please teach the cashiers to at least speak to the customers. They hardly even smile, which I find sad. Do you need to offer them some type of incentive so that they want to look happy? Sometimes, it's hard to even get them to smile. Now, I do understand that everyone has hard days, even hard lives, but please, if someone speaks to you, speak back. That is just simple manners.


2. Provide childcare. For a small fee that is. I would spend the extra money for the care just so it would take me 30 minutes, and not an hour and a half, to go shopping. There also wouldn't be random toys or bags of candy that mysteriously appear  in the cart. Oh, and having to pull at least one of my kids off of a shelf, or trying to get them to quit fighting with each other, or ramming the cart into the back of my ankles. I honestly don't know how I have made it this long without having to have surgery on my achilles tendon. I'm totally serious. And the tears and yelling because I'm not letting them get 100 different kinds of cookies or cereal.


3. Serve Xanax or a stiff drink to the moms/dads that enter the store with kids. I promise you would see a lot more smiles from the parents. Or here's another good idea. Just give free wine and beer samples in the wine aisle and at the beer fridge. You would see some parents who were a lot less stressed and a lot more excited to go into Walmart. You would probably also have a lot more customers, period.


People wonder why it causes me anxiety to take my sweet, precious children shopping with me until they see me in the store with all 3 of them. Then they don't wonder anymore. Ask the friends who saw me walking around Walmart yesterday with my 4 year old. It's not a pretty sight. Seriously!

The Comparison Game...

Growing up, my parents instilled confidence in me. They taught me to want to be the best and do the best in everything I was involved in. They taught me to be a reflection of God. They also taught me to finish anything I started, but that's a totally different conversation. I was very competitive, and I would strive to excel in everything that I did. This is a quality that has definitely stuck with me until this day, but there was one little incident that happened that changed me from being confident to being insecure. It's amazing what words can do to a soul.

For several summers while we were in high school, I would go to the beach, Myrtle Beach in fact, with a very dear friend of mine. We are still friends to this day. We were both cheerleaders, very well known in our hometown, and had tons of friends. While in Myrtle Beach, we stayed at a camping resort called Ocean Lakes. We had a blast!!! Ocean Lakes had a little strip of road that all of the teenagers would cruise around on in their golf carts. Yep. Cruisin' in the golf carts. It was so much fun! We saw some cute guys, so we pulled the cart over to talk to them. As we were standing there, one of the guys said to my friend, "You look hot! But, her. Yuck!" And made this nasty face like he was disgusted with the way I looked. That was it for me. That was the statement that took my confidence and shot it all to hell. Why? Why did I let this statement and face that this silly guy made make me take a lifetime of confidence and throw it out the window? Maybe, it was because I was in my vulnerable teenage years? Then after my teenage years, why didn't I get over it? 

After that day, it was a constant comparison game. Physical looks, parenting skills, career, clothes, it didn't matter. From my standpoint, I wasn't good enough. Throughout college, everyone was so gorgeous. Clemson was filled with beautiful people. College of Charleston had one amazing looking person after the next. Where did I fit in? I did date in college, and I did find my soul mate at College of Charleston, who constantly doted on me and still does to this day, but I still couldn't get past the insecurity that I was just not going to be as good as the people around me. I had stopped being good at being ME. What happened to all of those great qualities that made me the person that I had been? I couldn't even go onto Facebook and not compare myself to others. I would ask myself, "What is that person doing to look so young?" or "How in the world is that family so happy?" Seeing everyone else's posts made me think I was the only person not living the "dream". What I couldn't see past is that most of the people are just like me. They just don't want anyone to know that life isn't so perfect. That's why I just post my life. I post the truth. Do I have a 4 year old little boy that keeps me on my toes. ABSOLUTELY! Do I get frustrated with my sassy 11 year old, Allie? You better believe it! Do I have a 9 year old princess who still refuses to eat A LOT of different foods, like she's 3 years old? I sure do! Do my husband and I argue? Yes, we do! We are two completely different people with two completely different opinions about certain issues. Can we agree to disagree? Sometimes. I'm still working on this one. Travis is good at it. Did I go to a counselor to see why I felt insecure and not good enough (after refusing to go for so long)? I did, and she was great! Am I the absolute definition of "organzied chaos"? I am! If you walk into my office, you would think I was insane, but I know where everything is. And studies have shown that a messy desk is a sign of genius.

Recently, I have been reading the book "Looking For Lovely" by Annie F. Downs. I have loved every minute of reading this book. It shows us that even though we have these crazy insecurites, God is with us on every step of our journey. There are scriptures connected to every chapter. While I've been reading this amazing book, which I would recommend to everyone, especially women, it made me step back and look at why I felt all of these insecurities.

1. Being Competitive: Being competitive is a great thing. In fact, it's healthy to a certain extent. My competitiveness was not healthy. I wanted so desperately to be THE BEST at absolutely everything that I would become angry or down on myself for not "winning". Now, during college football season, it's okay to be really competitive, and cheer for your team! GO CLEMSON!!!

2. Take Constructive Criticism as Constructive, NOT destructive: 99% of the time people are giving you constructive criticism to help you improve something that is going on in your life. They are not out to destroy us. But, I will admit, I still struggle with this one. Every time I get any form of criticism, I am very hard on myself and get a little put out. I have to work really hard to make sure I take this as, most of the time, someone trying to be helpful.

3. Don't Always Believe What You See: Many times, when things seem to being going ridiculously well or perfect for someone else, it's not. We are only going by what we see on the outside. Other people are struggling just like we are in some facet of life or another. I'm going to tell you, I've absolutely love Jen Hatmaker! If you follow her, then you know what you see is what you get. I've seen her post pictures of her house, and guess what, it's not completely clean. She has kids. There's stuff laying around. She is true to life. So why do we put on these facades that are not really who we are? I don't post everything that is going on in my life, well because everything is not everyone's business, but you can be dern skippy that if I post something, it's because I'm showing y'all that my life is far from perfect. It's perfect for me, but we have our struggles and craziness, too. There are more days than not that I have to remind my 9 year old, Lizzie, to comb her hair and brush her teeth. It makes me want to pull my hair out, but that's my life, and of course there are frustrating areas, but I love it and embrace it.

When I was thinking about this post, all I could think of is that kids' song from the early 80's, "He's still working on me, to make me what I'm going to be." So when we get anxious, or insecure, or lost, or frustrated with our lives in general, I have a couple favorite Bible verses that I like to refer to, and believe me, it's on a daily basis...

     -- Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7
     -- Now, the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
          2 Corinthians 3:17 (this is also one of my favorite songs to sing with our praise team at church)

Embrace who God made you to be!!!! Now, go out there, and be the best YOU!!!!
                                 

Seriously?

Honestly, if I kept a tally of how many times I have used the word "seriously" in the last week, the count would come to 5,734,218. Sometimes, I don't say it out loud because it may be an inappropriate time, but I'm probably thinking it. It's that go to word, whether I'm saying it because something is funny or it's being said with a sarcastic tone. It's that word that we can say in an angry tone, like we can't believe that actually just happened. Whatever the tone, this word is definitely the most used word in my vocabulary. Seriously.

For example, on Sunday morning, Luke's clothes were laid out for him to get ready for church. I told him to go get his clothes on for church. His ears heard, "Go get my gun, sit down in the living room, and watch Batman." My response was "Seriously?!?" The picture is below to show that I'm not exaggerating at all. And, I seriously apologize for the way my apartment looks. My husband is about to go on a week long bear hunt, and it is also a glorified storage unit until we can move into our new house. Oh, and talk about a "Mother of the Year" moment, I had a great one the other night. Our family is obsessed with the Olympics. We love it! We scream and cheer like the athletes can hear us. Even Luke joins in. We also sing the national anthem at the top of our lungs when the USA wins gold, and they get their medals. We get to the last line, and I hear Elizabeth sing, "and the flag was still there", not "and the home of the brave". First, I responded with "Seriously, Elizabeth?" Then, I thought, "Holy Cow! Have I not done my job as a true patriot and taught her the national anthem?" My oldest child knows it. Elizabeth and Allie were both in choir and sing it with the choir at school. She should know this song. For the love of creation, she's 9 years old! So, needless to say, we've been working on the "Star Spangled Banner" for the last 10 days.

Another way I use the word "seriously" is in surprise. If my husband or kids say something I'm not expecting, I yell out "seriously!" Or during football season, if the Clemson Tigers make a great play, I yell out "SERIOUSLY!!!" When the surprise is unpleasant, like when my 11 year old, Allie, out of the blue decides to be a Miss Sass Pants, I look at her and say, "Seriously, Allie?" There's also the occasions when Luke decides to run through the living room stark naked yelling "look at my booty" when we have company over. Seriously!?!

To be truthful, "Seriously" is just that awesome word that can go with just about any situation. Again, I say it so often that my 4 year old also uses it in context, except he pronounces it surriously, like a true southerner/Texan. So, just for the sake of it, let's say it for the 5,734,219th time for the week. :)

I Stink It Up at Forgiveness and Grace!

Hi! My name is Kristin, and I suck at forgiving and being forgiven. Granting and accepting grace is also a problem. Again, another reason that I'm the "Okayest Mom". I have a lot of work to do.

 For example, during high school, a childhood friend heard me say something about her that was not so nice. I cannot tell you how many times I think about that and still have that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach because that was so mean of me. Why would I ever think to say anything like that? Why didn't I apologize and ask for forgivness? Or, when I yell at my kids, even though I've tried to get through to them other ways, I feel horrible after I yell. And not just for the five minutes following, for days. Or what if I have a bad thought about Travis? I still feel horrible about thinking that way, for a long time.  Then, let's add in the times I wish I had gone to visit my grandparents and parents more often, or my family in general. Honestly, the list is endless. Why? Because evil ol' Satan has control.

Now, the other problem I have, and I guess I need a 12 Step Program, is that I'm great at hanging onto things and holding a grudge. This doesn't happen with everything that goes on in my life, but it has happened quite a few times. Several years ago, there was a person that I thought was my friend. She invited me to go do things with her, we would invite her family over, and our kids would play together. Little did I know, she didn't want to be my friend. She wanted to tear my family apart. So, her friendship wasn't real. It was a situation that if she got close enough to me, she could work her plan. And I'm going to tell you, once I figured out what was going on, this was me...

I swear to goodness, I think this is what my face looked like every time I was around her. But, God was working in my heart. There were so many prayers that I would be able to forgive a person who had deliberately set out to hurt me and my family. After a LONG time, God helped me come to the conclusion that I needed to be forgiving, because upon occasion, would be running into this person. First, because it was making me miserable and bitter, but second, because He showed me that I could be nice to someone, but I DO NOT have to be that person's friend. I don't have to invite them to my home. I don't even have to be at a business diner with them. I can be kind without getting close.

This picture appeared on a friend's timeline on Facebook today. God was definitely talking to me!!!

This definitely doesn't happen in every situation where forgiveness and grace are necessary, but there are a few. I'm a work in progress.

When it comes to my kids, I am doing better at forgiving and giving grace. But, I need to be, because they are so good at forgiving me and granting me grace! It's hard to believe, but sometimes parents make mistakes, and need to be forgiven, too. Remembering that the kids may have had a rough day at school, or they may be really tired or hungry, so they act angry. Instead of listening, I'm really quick to jump in with an answer or a really loud response. It's time to slow down. This picture also appeared on Facebook this morning, so "Yes, God! You have my attention!!!

So, when these feelings of not forgiving myself or others, and not granting that grace come around, I have to say, "Not today, Satan!!"

Well, here's my constant reminder to give grace and be a better acceptor of grace. I got a tattoo on my foot. I had been toying with the idea for a while, doing a lot of research, and getting in touch with friends who had already been inked, but was scared of the pain, aaannnnnddd what people would think of me. Not anymore! Again, from my previous post, I'm the person that God wanted me to be, not what other people want or think I should be. I wanted this tattoo! So yes ma'am, I sure did get one. It says "grace upon grace". It's on the side of my foot, and it won't be seen a lot, but I know it's there. And, I love it, and yes, my parents know that I have a tattoo :)

This tattoo was done at Redeeming Tattoos in Tyler, TX. The artist was Floyd, and he was amazing!!! He fit me into his schedule when he had a 3 month wait list. So, it was meant to be. My best friend went with me. She told me that it would feel like a lot of little bee stings, then, it would go numb. It does not feel like bee stings, and it doesn't go numb, but it was worth it!! I sweated through the back of my shirt, and I didn't have to hold anyone's hand. Thanks for supporting me, Lindsey!!!

So when you feel like people have done you wrong, or that things are not going your way, be quick to offer forgiveness and grace. Be better than this okay mom. As Lysa TerKeurst says in her book "Unglued", we are all making "imperfect progress", and we are all on this journey together!

World's Okayest Mom: I Embrace the Title

Now, you're probably thinking why in the world would someone call herself just an "okay" mom. This is a blog of a typical day in the life of me. I may start each day with my "Mom of the Year" trophy, but it's usually gone by about 9:00am during the summer, and during the school year, about 5 minutes after I pick the kids up.There are so many days that I look at social media, and I think, everyone has a perfect life. The question always comes to my mind, "What am I not doing that all of these other moms are doing?" Or, "Oh my gosh! They took their kids on a big vacation recently, and they are all still smiling on the last day!" I love my kids with my whole heart, but this is absolutely not my reality. So here are the reasons that I am just an "okay" mom, and I've learned to be alright with this.

Number 1: Life has always been a comparison game or a competition for me. There are several areas where I believe that this is completely appropriate, like in sports (especially college football! GO CLEMSON TIGERS!!), a dance or cheer competition, and auditioning for something. My problem is that I was constantly comparing myself and competing to be just like other people and looking for acceptance from others. Guess what? I'm me. God made me very unique, with specific qualities, that no one else has. He intended it that way. Lord knows I still fight with my insecurities, but there are a lot more really great days than feeling "less than adequate" days.

Number 2 reason why I'm just an okay mom...I don't care for Pintrest very much. In fact, I've diagnosed myself with ADD, due to the way my brain feels so overwhelmed when I look at that site. If my brain is overloaded with stuff, I just shut down. My kids don't get Pinterest-y birthday parties, I don't make Pinterest meals, and I don't Pinterest decorate my house. I applaud moms who can sit down and go through all of these things, but my brain does not comprehend this stuff.

Number 3 reason why I'm just an okay mom...I drop my kids off at practices, gymnastics, soccer, piano, etc., and I DO NOT stay. In fact, we have some friends who take our oldest child to her soccer practices, not because I can't, but because they are amazingly awesome and offer to do it since I have another daughter who has soccer practice, at different location, at the same time (plus a crazy little 4 year old boy). But, I do drop my youngest daughter off at soccer and gymnastics, and still don't stay. I've also learned that they do not have to be involved in EVERY kind of extracurricular activity. We have to do what is good for our family, not do what we can to keep up with other families.

Number 4 reason why I'm just an okay mom...We take big vacations without our kids. Yep, that's right. NO KIDS! We decided that we would go to places, check them out, and then decide whether we think our kids would enjoy something like that. If we like it, and think they would like it, we will take them later. Just let me tell you, Hawaii with a 4 year old is a big fat NO!!! There is no way I would take that child there. He's going to have to be 14-15 before he would even appreciate that place. And the 7 hour flight...NADA!!! We also have date nights, and we don't feel even a little bit guilty about it. In a marriage, it's God first, your spouse second, and then, your kids. When this order gets mixed up, it puts a strain on or destroys the marriage. We go out together as much as we can, and we go out with our friends and love that too!

Number 5 Reason why I'm just an okay mom...I love Jesus with my whole heart, but I drink and cuss a little! Sometimes I have to go bat crap crazy with my kids and cuss just so they will listen to me and actually respond. There are also some situations in life where inserting a cuss word is absolutely necessary to make a point. Like when your 4 year old gets a pair of scissors, and starts cutting his good shorts when you aren't looking. You have to say, "What the hell are you doing?" My 4 year old told me, "I'm not going to say bad words anymore! Like shut up, crap, and holy shit!" And, no, we don't let him cuss, but he has heard it before. He's also into EVERYTHING!!! I cannot leave him alone! My girls are at an age where they fight constantly, too. And, they fight about everything. This leads to having a drink and sometimes cuss, too. I like a glass of wine, and I like  to have a beer, and I love Jesus!

There are so many more things that make me just an "okay" mom. We all have our insecurities, but just because we aren't what we see on the internet doesn't make us any less of a person than anyone else. Psalm 139:14 tells us "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works and my soul knows it very well."