In the south, athletics reign supreme, especially football. What do I do at sporting events? I yell! And, I'm not shy about it. It comes honestly, because I always here the story about how my papaw received a technical foul from the stands during one of my aunt's basketball games. He was not shy about letting the refs know when he had a problem with a call. My grandparents were also season ticket holders for Georgia Bulldogs football for more than 40 years. They were what we like to call passionate about the game and their beloved "Dawgs". My mama was the same way, but the sport she really loved to watch was college basketball.
Yelling for our team (Go Clemson Tigers!) by using my cheerleader voice, and what I'm about to talk about are two different things. Most of the time, I am a calm, laid back person. It takes quite a bit to get me upset, until my kids show up with a sass mouth or bad attitude! The other thing that can set me off in a hot minute is when I've asked the kids to do something 5,247,893 times, and they still haven't done it. Or, if I say exactly what I mean, but they interpret it in their own way, which is usually the total opposite of what I've asked them to do. These three things make me go from a princess to a demonic presence in about 3 seconds flat. You know that part of the movie "The Exorcist" where the little girl's head spins around and pea soup flies out? Well, if one of my kids says something sassy and disrespectful, that is exactly what I look like, except, my LOUD words are spouting out like the pea soup. If those portions of my life were a movie, the song in the background would be DMX's "Up in Here" because all I can think of at those moments is "Y'all gone make me lose my mind. Up in here. Up in here." If I look at this in a positive way, I could say that I'm being like Jesus when he became angry at the people for selling things at the temple.
Do you ever have a moment when your kids are being crazy people, and you lose it? I do! Sometimes, I don't even remember what I've said, but I know it was loud. It takes me a minute to gather myself after the fact. Yelling doesn't happen with my students at school, but it does with my kids at home. It just drives me t-totally insane when I've told my kids to go pick up your clothes off the bathroom floor, and what they hear is, "go get my toys out and start playing hide and go seek until mom loses her ever loving mind." My kids are insanely smart, but they are kids. They are going to test the waters within an inch of losing their lives...or me losing my sanity.
So, I've decided I'm going to try something new. Not only will it keep me sane, but I can freak my kids out a little (which is always funny). I'm going to start creepy whispering when they can't seem to follow directions, act like they can't hear what I'm saying, or look at me like I'm not speaking their native tongue.
I will never claim to be a perfect parent because that would not only be a lie, but I would probably be greeted at the gates of Hell by Satan himself for even claiming that I am. Parenting advice is great, and I love it, but I also want people to know that they are not alone in this crazy world of being parents. Being a parent is something I always dreamed of doing. I would not trade it for anything in this universe, but while I am being a mom, I would like to keep my sanity and not end up in the behavioral health unit in East Texas.
